From PIMI to POMO*

Welcome to Totally Awake, a space where I document my personal journey out of a high-control religious group. I was raised as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, and for most of my life, I was what’s known as *PIMI — Physically In, Mentally In — fully believing and deeply committed to the teachings without question. But over time, doubts grew, and the cracks in the system became too wide to ignore.

Leaving wasn’t just about walking away — it was about deconstructing an entire worldview, facing emotional and spiritual trauma, and learning how to think for myself again. It’s a journey that many others are on, often silently, feeling isolated or afraid.

This blog is for anyone navigating their own awakening — whether you’re starting to question things internally while still physically in (PIMQ: Physically In, Mentally Questioning), living a double life to protect yourself or loved ones, or fully out and rebuilding your life on your own terms (POMO: Physically Out, Mentally Out). No matter where you are on that path, your experience is valid — and you’re not alone.

Through sharing real stories, reflections, and resources, I hope to offer support, validation, and insight for those leaving or recovering from high-control groups. This space is about healing, reclaiming identity, and waking up to a freer, more conscious life.

To help you find what resonates most, I’ve organized my posts into a few categories:

  • What Brought Me Here – My personal story. The experiences, moments, and questions that shaped my decision to leave and how I began rebuilding from the inside out.

  • Showerthoughts – Those fleeting insights and off-the-cuff reflections that come out of nowhere — short, punchy, and often surprisingly deep.

  • X-panded – Threads and thoughts that started over on X (formerly Twitter), but deserved a deeper dive. Here’s where I pull the thread and see where it leads.

  • TTATT: The Truth About The Truth – Focused explorations of Watchtower teachings, doctrine, and policy — where I unpack what was taught and why it matters.

Thanks for being here — and wherever you are on your own path, I hope you find something in these pages that helps you feel seen.

Disclaimer for Active Jehovah’s Witnesses

Some of the content on this site may be considered “apostate” according to the definitions used by the Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Please be aware of this if you are currently an active member.

If you believe that any information shared here is factually incorrect, I welcome respectful dialogue. Feel free to reach out with verifiable sources, and I will gladly review, correct, or remove any content if the evidence is convincing.